Photo: John Schultz
A friend recently shared a column titled “Every Woman has an ‘I Don’t’ list. And it’s about Time We’ve Shared Them.” In the column, the writer Holly Wainwright shares her personal “I don’t” list, which includes things like:
I don’t meal prep.
I don’t reply to every email.
I don’t make birthday cakes.
Wainwright’s point is that a lot of women tend to have “Superwoman Syndrome,” trying to do it all. She goes on to say it’s making us sick. This resonated with me. It seems that every time I push through a busy stretch I often end up sick on the other side of the rush. In fact, I recently had a COVID breakthrough infection and wondered whether being so busy this fall had anything to do with it. I picked up the virus at an indoor gathering, while others around me didn’t.
In any case, Wainwright says every woman should have an “I don’t” list comprised of things we don’t do and won’t be made to feel guilty for. Maybe people of all genders should have a list. Maybe all professionals, businesses, and organizations should, too.
Here’s my list for Cycle Forward:
I don’t work on projects I’m not passionate about.
I don’t work on projects that don’t align with my values.
I don’t give deep discounts for virtual presentations. When I do, it’s like I’m giving my services away. I spend just as many hours planning a Zoom talk as I do one that’s given in person.
I don’t accept new projects, no matter how light of a lift, if doing so will jeopardize existing commitments. It’s a little scary saying no to a project but decisions shouldn’t be made from a place of fear.
I don’t make someone else’s emergency my own. Sure, if I can help I will. But their sense of urgency shouldn’t throw my day or week out of balance.
I don’t sacrifice my health and wellness for work deadlines.
You can probably see there’s a protective quality to my particular list. The busier I get, the more I benefit from setting boundaries. We all should set boundaries and do our best to stick to them. This is the kind of topic I might have covered with a coaching client back when I was doing my nature-based coaching. It’s also a conversation I might have with my own coach, because, honestly, I struggle with keeping these promises. It’s something I’m always working on.
I hope every one of my past coaching clients and every one of you has a personal or professional “I don’t” list as well. If not, you’ll find it takes five minutes to create one. What’s most on your mind will surface right away and then other things may pop up throughout the day. Let’s set boundaries, stop trying to do ALL THE THINGS, and help each other along the way.
City of Bridges Bike Tour
Have you heard about Bikabout? The site creates and shares itineraries throughout North America. They also sell guides and donate 25 percent of the proceeds to nonprofits that advocate for cycling, which is great! Founder Megan Ramey invited me to curate a Pittsburgh city tour earlier this year. There are lots of great ways to bike around Pittsburgh, but this is the City of Bridges tour that I offered up to Bikabout. Clearly, I like to recommend stops centered on eating and drinking. Check it out and enjoy a city ride sometime soon!
Reminder: “Talking Trails” Book Event this Thursday
Please join me on Oct. 28 for a Deciding on Trails book event being hosted by Rivers of Steel. This will be the first event in which I talk about why I wrote the book, what the process was like, and the future of trail towns. The program will be held virtually, so anyone can attend!
I'll be joined by a panel of leaders from along the Great Allegheny Passage - the trail that started it all when it comes to trail towns. With me will be Bryan Perry of the GAP Conservancy, Sharon Joseph of Downtown Connellsville, and Suzi Bloom of Rivers of Steel. We'll talk about trail tourism and community development along the GAP.
This is a virtual program and is open to anyone who wants to help celebrate the book and explore the positive impact that trails have on communities. Registration is required.